Edited by Ron Burks and Larry Pile
(Wellspring Retreat)
“No one gets up in the morning as says "Gee, I think I am going to ruin my life today. I think I'll join a cult, or maybe get into a relationship where I am in constant fear of my life." We are often asked, "What kind of person joins a cult or gets involved with a psychopath." Our answer? We don't know, we never met anyone who joined a cult or who fell in love with a psychopath." We at Wellspring have helped more than 500 people recover from both of these and never once did any of them say, "I knew exactly what I was getting into."
What people join are people and groups that are more loving, dedicated, and exciting than what they have experienced. They join because we all need love, purpose, and adventure. People are attracted to groups and relationships that later turn out to be abusive because they are tricked into believing that either the person or group is not harmful or whatever problems it may be known to have can be overcome by dedication and commitment. Deception involves getting the prospect to suspend disbelief temporarily and then control how information is communicated until critical thinking skills become less effective.
Exactly how the critical thinking skills of members can be impaired by these environments has been the subject of study and controversy for nearly fifty years. We owe a debt to this research and the work of pioneers such as Robert Lifton and Margaret Singer for their insights.
The following processes have been shown to be present in virtually all high-demand group settings and are strongly associated with the loss of personal critical thinking skills and meaningful "informed consent." The following is adapted from Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism,by Robert Lifton..."
A cult of two people:
How the abusive relationship gets under your skin
Abusive relationships can operate almost identically to manipulative cults. From outside the relationship, we may wonder how anyone could ever allow themselves to be abused. But when we understand universal psychological patterns, it’s clear to see what’s going on. The emotionally abusive person may:
Initially shower you with love, attention, flattery, sex, money, a feeling of fateful “it was meant to be”, and so on.
by Madeleine L. Tobias and Janja Lalich
“…The similarities between cultic devotion and the traumatic bonding that occurs between battered individuals and their abusers are striking. An abused partner is generally made to submit to the following types of behaviors:- early verbal and/or physical dominance,
- isolation/imprisonment
- fear arousal and maintenance
- guilt induction
- contingent expressions of "love"
- enforced loyalty to the aggressor and self-denunciation
- promotion of powerlessness and helplessness
- pathological expressions of jealousy
- hope-instilling behaviors
- required secrecy (13)
* * *
Rules of Order in Crazy-Making Families
by Rodger Garrett
“Initially trained more than 30 years ago to be a cult deprogrammer, I have been struck again and again since being trained in family therapy how much the dynamics of the "psychogenic," "schizogenic" or "crazy-making" family resemble those of the hyper-religious and/or mind control cult…I have developed the following: 20 Characteristics of Crazy-Making Families
The Duty Victim
Coercive Mind Control Tactics
The tactics used to create undue psychological and social influence, often by means involving anxiety and stress, fall into seven main categories.
TACTIC 1
TACTIC 2
TACTIC 4
TACTIC 5
TACTIC 6
TACTIC 7
Edited by Ron Burks and Larry Pile
(Wellspring Retreat)
(Wellspring Retreat)
“No one gets up in the morning as says "Gee, I think I am going to ruin my life today. I think I'll join a cult, or maybe get into a relationship where I am in constant fear of my life." We are often asked, "What kind of person joins a cult or gets involved with a psychopath." Our answer? We don't know, we never met anyone who joined a cult or who fell in love with a psychopath." We at Wellspring have helped more than 500 people recover from both of these and never once did any of them say, "I knew exactly what I was getting into."
What people join are people and groups that are more loving, dedicated, and exciting than what they have experienced. They join because we all need love, purpose, and adventure. People are attracted to groups and relationships that later turn out to be abusive because they are tricked into believing that either the person or group is not harmful or whatever problems it may be known to have can be overcome by dedication and commitment. Deception involves getting the prospect to suspend disbelief temporarily and then control how information is communicated until critical thinking skills become less effective.
Exactly how the critical thinking skills of members can be impaired by these environments has been the subject of study and controversy for nearly fifty years. We owe a debt to this research and the work of pioneers such as Robert Lifton and Margaret Singer for their insights.
The following processes have been shown to be present in virtually all high-demand group settings and are strongly associated with the loss of personal critical thinking skills and meaningful "informed consent." The following is adapted from Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism,by Robert Lifton..."
A cult of two people:
How the abusive relationship gets under your skin
Abusive relationships can operate almost identically to manipulative cults. From outside the relationship, we may wonder how anyone could ever allow themselves to be abused. But when we understand universal psychological patterns, it’s clear to see what’s going on. The emotionally abusive person may:
Initially shower you with love, attention, flattery, sex, money, a feeling of fateful “it was meant to be”, and so on.
Gradually but increasingly try to turn you against, and discourage contact with, your friends or relatives.
Use threats, promises, and other forms of emotional blackmail: “If you leave me, I’ll kill you/myself!” Sometimes the threats are implied.
Repeatedly tell you they can’t live without you and you can’t live without them.
Sap your confidence in your ideas and interests.
by Madeleine L. Tobias and Janja Lalich
“…The similarities between cultic devotion and the traumatic bonding that occurs between battered individuals and their abusers are striking. An abused partner is generally made to submit to the following types of behaviors:
- early verbal and/or physical dominance,
- isolation/imprisonment
- fear arousal and maintenance
- guilt induction
- contingent expressions of "love"
- enforced loyalty to the aggressor and self-denunciation
- promotion of powerlessness and helplessness
- pathological expressions of jealousy
- hope-instilling behaviors
- required secrecy (13)
When psychological coercion and manipulative exploitation have been used in a one-on-one cultic relationship, the person leaving such a relationship faces issues similar to those encountered by someone leaving a cultic group…”
* * *
Abusive/Controlling Relationships on
* * *
Rules of Order in Crazy-Making Families
by Rodger Garrett
“Initially trained more than 30 years ago to be a cult deprogrammer, I have been struck again and again since being trained in family therapy how much the dynamics of the "psychogenic," "schizogenic" or "crazy-making" family resemble those of the hyper-religious and/or mind control cult…I have developed the following: 20 Characteristics of Crazy-Making Families
The Duty Victim
Boundary Jumping
Mind Reading
Phony Communication
Double Binding
Displaced Responsibility
Role Reversal
Shame & Guilt
Doctrine
Black & White Thinking
Social Proof
Cliché
Exclusion
Triangulation
Invisible Drama
Implied Threat & Promise
Plausible Denial
Containment
Dumbing Down
Terrorism
(To read the definitions of listed characteristics, click article title)
Coercive Mind Control Tactics
The tactics used to create undue psychological and social influence, often by means involving anxiety and stress, fall into seven main categories.
TACTIC 1
TACTIC 2
TACTIC 3
TACTIC 4
TACTIC 5
TACTIC 6
TACTIC 7
