Group Support in Court

Visualization

Practical Jude suggests:

Visual imagery was the one thing that got me through the court room door.  I actually felt all the members there with me and I gained an inner strength that is hard to describe.  So, I'm hoping you try this exercise and see if it helps.  The reality is we are with you in heart and soul and if you doubt that just squeeze your hands a little harder.  We will be there with you.  Try practicing this visualization before going to court so it automatically sooths your anxiety:

"Close your eyes and picture this. There are one hundred of us on your left.  There are one hundred of us on your right.  There are masses of us behind you.  Breath deeply and slowly and walk with us from room to room.  As you enter the last room you see the narcissist.  Grab on to the hands on your left and right and squeeze.  Let the energy from our hands travel to your belly, down your legs, through your feet to the ground.  Feel how the weight from this energy keeps your feet planted firmly.  Keep walking, breath slowly and feel our energy surrounding you.  As your anxiety begins to creep up, squeeze our hands tighter.  Keep squeezing.

Another suggestion that helped me was to remember you don't have to look at him.  If you want to appear you're looking at him, focus on something behind his head, or his ear, or his shirt...but don't think you have to look at his face.  It would be great if you could look behind him and see us.  We're all giving you the high-five!  Oh yes, we will be there!"

Other forum members advice & encouragement:

"On a piece of paper, write down the names of your favorite posters from this or other boards. Put it in your pocket.  Maybe draw a heart around it if you want to.  Take it out and look at it when you have a free moment. I don't know if you would find that comforting, but I think that I would have, if I had had that opportunity at the time.  I didn't know anything about narcissism when I went through my divorce, and obviously had no access to the WoN forum. I had to go to court alone and I did not have this board support at the time. I would have liked to have had that piece of paper.”~Dr. Gerbil

"I LOVE the idea of writing down names of some of us on this board who will be with you in spirit if not in body. Put us in BIG LETTERS and lay it on the table in front of you or keep it somewhere where you can put your hand on it. Draw strength from all these Strong Women who have all made it out to the other side. You will be fine. Anticipation is ALWAYS worse than the actual event." ~Honeybear

"We may not be there in person but your WoN sisters are certainly there in spirit. If you listen very carefully, you'll hear the gentle taptaptap of our keyboards in the distance. Hey, that gives me an idea. Maybe you could 'air-type' if you get nervous. Put your fingers on your lap and type a message. Something or other along the lines of, "What a Donkey's butt." Picture him nailed to a barnwall with all your WoN sisters pinning tails on his donkey. O yea, that oughta settle your nerves if you get upset."  ~CZBZ