About The WoN Connection

"Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.” ~Harriet Goldhor Lerner

Share the Knowledge, Take the Journey, Heal Your Soul

WoN Connection is the official blog for Web of Narcissism.com. Our links and articles focus on the narcissistic continuum extending from healthy narcissism to unhealthy traits and behaviors, and at the most extreme: malignant narcissism, antisocial personality disorder, and psychopathy. 

We have numerous articles in the “Narcissism” category describing the narcissistic personality. One of our goals is to empower people with information so they can spot red flags and warning signs before investing their lives in a relationship that will likely end in sorrow and regret. 

“Things You Oughta Know” describes why ending a narcissistic relationship is so difficult. Psychological mechanisms like intermittent reinforcement and cognitive dissonance increase our attachment and loyalty to abusive narcissists. During and after a pathological relationship, our self-confidence, self-efficacy, and self-worth is compromised. That's something you oughta know, too.

The “Trauma and Recovery” section includes PTSD information. Psychologists are now suggesting that partners of narcissists generally present with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. If you are interested in research about complex post-traumatic-stress, we have external links to reliable websites on our Resource Page, listed in the Trauma and Recovery section.

"Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection--or compassionate action." ~Daniel Goleman

When in crisis:  Connect!

Selected quotes and essays from our message board are located in the section: “Tellin’ it like it IS”. These messages were written from the heart, by women in crisis,  yet empathic to lessening another woman's suffering. Women’s desire to support one other, even when overwhelmed by personal burdens, has been witnessed throughout human history. Now researchers suggest there are health benefits in receiving and giving social support during crisis; though no woman I have ever met based her crisis-friendships on scientific research. 

“Tending to others is as natural and biologically based as searching for food or sleeping, and its origins lie deep in our social nature.” ~Shelley Taylor

As Taylor’s theory suggests, women are not limited to a flight or fight options during crisis. Nor even 'freeze' as some theories suggest. Women take action. They bond with others. We tend-and-befriend. Women forge alliances as an evolutionary tactic. This instinctive urge merits honor and respect for the survival stratagem it was and is. She builds a network around herself, a web of defenders who, from their own experience, recognize the urgency of validation and support.

The desire to join a group is why, in my opinion, message boards are predominated by females who don’t simply ask for 'tending', they offer empathy, support and (((cyberhugs))): befriending. 

After nearly a decade of conversations with women on the Web of Narcissism, I make no apology for The WoN Connection's distinctly feminine and woman-centered focus. The capacity for nurturing and the vulnerability to victimization are not gender-specific, but I have constructed this website in the hopes of meeting women's needs and improving the lives of their children. When you support a woman, you support her family. Because WoN is a light-hearted and positive place with plenty of laughter even during crisis, let's just call this WoN's Tickle Down theory: Befriend a woman, tend her children, humanize our world. 

Connecting to others is an instinctual urge during times of high stress. This does not diminish the individual's choice to take action, nor minimize the considerable courage required to 'ask for help' and the humility required to graciously accept support.

No matter where you might be in your relatioNship today, we welcome your voice. We are grateful you are here. You are making the best decisions for your life that you can. No other person understands the full complexity of your situation as well as you.  

Our Mission Statement

The Web of Narcissism (WoN) is a volunteer organization assisting recovery from narcissistic relationships. We do not advocate specific therapeutic treatments, nor recovery plans. We allow each person the dignity of finding their own path aided by the encouragement and camaraderie of fellow survivors. As an organization, we:

1) offer psychological information about unhealthy relationships and the dangers of untreated psychopathology;

2) extend validation to those who have suffered as a result of pathological relationships;

3) facilitate integration of both cognitive and emotional intelligence towards self-regulation and the restoration of personal integrity.

As an organization, we intend to: fill a void in people's lives; support professional therapists and counselors; foster a healing environment that is anonymous, tolerant, and devoted to a long-term recovery process; educate people about red flags and warning signs.

As individuals, we intend to: heal our lives and pay it forward by supporting peers who intend to do the same; admit our mistakes and challenge ourselves to do better; move from victim to survivor to thriver ; restore personal power by accepting reality, making wiser choices, and taking responsibility for our lives.

As a collective, we intend to: respect each person's right to make decisions for themselves; support those who choose to stay or leave the narcissistic relationship; practice good faith principles for a growth-fostering community; encourage honesty, integrity, tolerance and respect.  

Welcome to The WoN Connection! 

Love,

CZBZ

© 2011 WebOfNarcissism.com