Thursday, January 20, 2011

Together, We Have WoN

"TGFW! Thank God For WoN!" ~ChangedSpirit

“Connectedness is what our purpose as human beings is about. It's a primal need. It feels that way to me. My life feels meaningless without being connected to others. I consider it a gift to belong here. The support I have received is crucial to my healing journey. The aloneness is unbearable in the immediate aftermath of the NPD relationship..” ~Talia

"If you ever want to change the forum name I would vote for "The Treasure Chest" because what you offer is more precious than gold. You will always have a special place in my heart." ~Litha

"You have a found a Treasure write a piece of paper to remind yourself, "I have WoN", because you have in more ways than one. You have a great resource and support team on your side." ~LettingGo 

“I learned about NPD in April of 2005 - just one year ago.  It finally all made sense.  Others were suffering as I was suffering.  I wasn't crazy and I wasn't alone.  Thank God for my cyber friends who have helped me make it through this last year! Together we have WON!” ~Mari-chiko 

"It is a long journey back to ourselves...We have all lived through crazy-making at its finest.  I never thought it was possible to lose myself and I feel so blessed each day to have found souls who understand and who have validated me and my perceptions and reality." ~Beasley 

"You are the best family ever. I have learned and laughed more on here in a week than i have in a long time, the sad part is i never want to leave my computer haha! This is so refreshing i can’t even tell you. Since i have been here my attitude is soaring, i feel alive and i actually realized today I am a lot further in my recovery than i was giving myself credit for. The warmth of this board put me back on track quickly. Thanks to everyone for your kindness, spirit, warmth and laughter and most of all, your knowledge."~Scowlin Pixie

"I'm so grateful for this forum. I don't think anyone else would have understood me. I can't describe how it feels to finally be listened to without being judged and without being blamed." ~sweetcakes

“I wish the cluster B's, red flags, patterns, symptoms, and DESTRUCTION PATTERNS  were so much more main stream because when we are trying to connect, the average person just doesn’t get it. To the general population, it's like I'm speaking Latin or Greek or Sanskrit. They say things like:  " they will grow up";  "it's just the medication"; "you need to be more of a wife".  Or even worse: "stop trying to control everything." They look me like I’m the one with the issue. TGFW --- Thank God For WON!” ~Changed Spirit

"Those of us who were raised in dysfunctional families need to be aware of our responses to stress, change, and loss. We can keep it together until stress causes us to crack. Changing our behavior is like trying to ride a bike or drive a car after you've only read the manual and not having interaction practice with healthy people in our formative years. This is why I stick to WoN even though I've been out of the N-relationship for over three years! I'm learning to create healthy relationships. The group keeps me strong. Healing is a painful process but not without its own rewards!"~GrowingIntoMyself 

"I love you all so much for being there for me...when I have cried, when I have worried, when I have had to come to terms with my own inner have all made me laugh, made me think, made room for me. And for this, I have started to find my way back to who I was before the Lord of the Flies. Thank you...there is a way out---to freedom." ~almostHealed 

"Just a quick hello before I head off to bed (exhausted!).  I want to give a HUGE thank you to all of you who responded to my posts during the last week.  I know that I could not have reached this point in my heart and in my head without your patience and wisdom.  You truly are the best!!!  I am sure my journey is not over... however I love the way I feel right now about myself, my life (even with its challenges) and especially my future.  I am looking forward to hopefully helping others reach the point I reached." ~Laurie

“I feel like it's important for me to continue posting, offering whatever experience, strength and hope I may have to the newcomers...I remember posting back in November and feeling like I was never going to be able to crawl out of the hole I was in.  I felt so despondent and tired and insufficient.  It definitely got better, I'm glad to report!  I don't know if I would have been able to reach this place of joy so quickly, if at all, without the WoN forum.” ~Monique

"I have gained so much---there are no words. Every time I log on, I learn something new and it helps to know I have a place to go for help and healing. I can't imagine losing all of this knowledge and strength that is given so freely everyday by the kind souls that are here as well. Blessings to all who have helped make WoN a place to share our pain and sorrow, our Love and Joy!" ~Candymom

"My journals are witness to the rollercoaster ride of my hope, love and optimism to reconcile my family followed by despair at discovering yet another lie and another betrayal - over and over again.  The journals were born when I found the support and understanding of an internet forum of healing.  There in cyberspace were the survivors at various stages of recovery from the narcissistic relationship.  Those that had learned and built strength, knowledge and wisdom were able to offer validation and support to the wounded just arriving weary from the fallout of our abusive relationships. With the knowledge I have gained in recovery, I now recognize that rollercoaster ride as the cycle of abuse.  There is no timetable for healing.  Acceptance comes at our own pace.  I had to become a private detective in order to learn the truths of my life." ~WoN member

“WoN has been totally invaluable. I need this place. I need the reminder that Ns are toxic but with time and attention and help, then it’s possible to thrive without them. I want to keep Ns out of my life and out of my head & heart. I also want to help others in the N-fog. I now value real-ness, authenticity, and congruence so I like it when others disagree with me or have another angle for me to explore. That’s lovely and healthy for me. I love this place!”~peartree

“I could never ever in a lifetime repay the kindness extended by the members on this board.  I will never forget how many times all of you have gotten me through so many crisies.  I fear I will have to continue to rely on you good people for a while more . I thoroughly appreciate all of the hours managers devote to keeping this site active and safe, as well as informative with all of your articles and information.” ~Lapin

“For all the help and support I've received, saying "thank you" doesn't seem near enough. I am really convinced that this place is responsible for about 80% of my recovery. I couldn't be the person I am today without this place.” ~FooFooGirlieGirl

“It's been a long road here, learning with WoN.  In the early days, when panic and uncertainty ruled my life, all of you were there for me.  Knowledge is power, and I've learned to be independent.   I've learned to parent without frustration.  Every bit of my frustration came from a man who lived his secret life and I had to interpret what was going on with him.  Unfortunately, I interpreted wrong and got the shaft and the D&D, along with the life savings.” ~Personal touch

“I am thankful that we all have stuck together for so long and have made a big effort to understand each other as well as decipher narcissism.  It is so important to have trusting support in all phases of our lives, and it is the major reason why I survived the risk I took for so long. What I have learned is that it is easy to tolerate other views if you have some experience with people.  We all need that experience regardless of our situation.  Needless to say, our relationships in the future will be fulfilling to us and we will live better lives because we have traveled the path of learning.” ~Cornfield 

"The most surprising thing for me since I've come to this board is that people actually listen, ponder, and offer wanted advice or virtual hugs or understanding. I was (and am) so grateful to get advice from folks who "get" it, who don't gaslight me. It's kooky how quickly closeness can happen on a forum, but I feel like I'm with other folks in the trenches. I am no longer by myself going, "Wait, is it me? Am I going crazy? Do other people feel this way?" It's sad that others know the sorrow, but I am grateful that others share what they've learned from the battle." ~Kiki 

"I still get the feeling sometimes, that I just wanna curl up with you people, in my PJs,  and a cup of hot chocolate and laugh, cry and talk all night. Because here---it is safe to be me." ~Mette

“[managers] have worked long and hard to provide this site for people like me who were so very lost and confused. It brought clarity to what I was actually dealing with. This site gives me strength, gives me a new perspective when I have tunnel vision. When I am feeling down, or just not sure which way to go - I know I can come here and leave with my burdens lifted. Not by anyone telling me what to do, but because I know there is hope and I do have choices. To know others have traveled this path before me, (and I am deeply sorry anyone of you had to) and are coming through to the "other side" of the intense nightmare - gives me immense hope.” ~smp

“WoN is a unique and invaluable place. Your input is full of balance, depth and compassion. And delivered in a hold-no-punches non-patronising way. Plus you often have me laughing my socks off on days when I really really need to and have had problems raising a smile. I am very VERY glad advisors invest so much time and effort. Collectively, your compassion shines through. And you never talk a load of "cobblers."” ~JennyWren

“I rarely post here, but I read nearly every day.  I'm just posting to say that this is the best forum I've ever seen/read/participated none. Thank you for this amazing place of support and healing.” ~yesIam 

I have learned more and been helped in my healing more by the stories and the insights and wisdom of the members of this forum, than by the over 30 odd books and dozens of studies and countless hours (sleepless and otherwise lol!!) spent trying to analyze and understand the illness that is narcissism . Personally, my journey is now focussed  on myself; on establishing boundaries, understanding how to heal  wounds  from childhood and the exN and moving into a healthier and more peaceful place in heart mind and soul. I could not have gotten this far without this forum and it's members.” ~nomore2 

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